Choosing Motherhood on My Own Terms

About 16 years ago, the thought crossed my mind to pursue artificial insemination. I was around 37 years old, single, and had no children. I was still navigating the online dating world, but I was not successful in finding “Mr. Right.”

I graduated from nursing school at 28 and built my career as a Mother/Baby OB/GYN nurse. I genuinely loved caring for newborns and their families and worked in the hospital setting for about six years. At the same time, a quiet question lived inside me: When will this be me? When will I be the one with the happy family and the baby?

Those thoughts sometimes felt selfish, but they were deeply human. Watching my dream unfold every day at work—while it felt out of reach in my own life—was emotionally painful. Eventually, I left the hospital and moved to a clinic position. It became easier, even though it felt sad to admit, not being surrounded by babies and happy families every day.

As time moved forward, I realized that by December 2010, I would be 38 years old. My mom shared that since she planned to retire in 2011, she was willing to help care for my baby if I decided to move forward with artificial insemination. That conversation felt pivotal. I knew I did not want to wait until my 40s and risk having more difficulty getting pregnant. In March 2010, I made the decision to move forward, even though I did not have a partner in my life.

The fertility process required a strict and carefully monitored plan. I underwent frequent ultrasounds and blood tests, used progesterone suppositories, and injected Repronex to stimulate egg production. I taught my friend Scott how to help with the injections, which made the process easier. Later, my sister Angie helped with the intramuscular HCG injection to trigger ovulation. An ultrasound showed two follicles in my right ovary.

On August 20, 2010, I had the IUI procedure. Then came the waiting—sixteen long days before I could officially test. Testing too early could give a false positive due to the HCG injection. On day 13, I could not wait any longer. I took a pregnancy test. It was positive. I tested again the next day, and the day after that. Each test was positive. I was one of the lucky few who became pregnant on the first try.

Choosing artificial insemination was not traditional, but it was becoming more common. Movies and television shows were beginning to reflect women and couples building families in nontraditional ways. Society was slowly shifting. It even reminded me of the TV show Modern Family. I was excited to be creating my own version of one.

16 Years Later

Sixteen years later, I look back on that decision with deep gratitude and pride. What once felt uncertain, scary, and unconventional became the foundation of the life I was meant to live. I did not wait for permission. I trusted my timing, my instincts, and my heart. That choice shaped not only my family, but also my purpose—to support and guide other women who are standing at the same crossroads I once faced.

If you are standing at a similar crossroads—wondering if motherhood is still possible, or if you are strong enough to do this on your own—you do not have to figure it out alone.

I now support women who are considering becoming a Single Mom by Choice and want clarity, confidence, and emotional support as they explore this path. If you feel called to talk, you are welcome to join my newsletter or schedule a gentle, no-pressure call with me. Sometimes clarity begins with simply being heard.